All I want for Christmas...

So for anyone who has known me a long time, let me start with an apology.  I am that person who always tortured people by not really telling them what I wanted whenever it was time for gift giving, like Christmas or my birthday.   I wanted them to figure it out.  Did they know me well enough to buy just the right gift?  Did they have the stamina to look in multiple stores to find something.  I always felt that if I pointed them to the exact gift- what fun was there in that?  OK- so for anyone who has just recently met me, I understand that you are thrilled that you were never a part of this crazy psycho mentality!  If you are feeling bad for my husband, you probably should- he took the brunt of the craziness.

So what I have realized is that I created a story in my head about people shopping for me.  I could have pointed them in the direction of the gift that I really wanted and been just as happy.  This year, I am a very contented, grateful, happy person.  I am thrilled with the direction that my life has taken and the path that was set out for me.  I am happy that people are willing to reach out and share their stories with me.  I am grateful to have such an awesome family.  I am lucky to get the chance to hug the people that I love this year at Christmas. 

The irony then is that there is not really anything tangible that I want this year.  The only things that I want are more time with the people that I love; more resources to do the work for Little Pink Houses of Hope; more opportunities to grow and learn.  I can't even imagine the idea of wanting an actual gift for myself this year.  So yes, the people with whom I have maliciously played this game are now wondering if I mean it or just playing a new game.  

Little Pink Houses of Hope has made my life so busy!  But every bit of it has enriched my life in ways that I never imagined.   I cherish the simple things in life now.   So in an attempt to turn over a new leaf for my dear husband, I have to reconcile my old ways with my new found non-gift giving outlook and at least come up with something.  So I think I have found the perfect gift as I watched a little girl color a picture for me this weekend (thanks Tatum) and was overcome with her joy.  The simple pleasurable task of coloring!  That is what I want this year- a coloring book!  How about that for easy- and don't worry- I have already told Terry!

In Honor of the FIGHT!

The day after I found out I had cancer and the same day that I dreamed the idea of Little Pink Houses of Hope I had to tell my son I had cancer.  But what very few people have heard is the story of Jake's response.  The majority of his response will remain private as a memory that only our family ever needs to remember and hold onto as we continue this journey.  But there is a touching story that I was unfortunately reminded of today with the passing of Elizabeth Edwards. 

When we told Jake that I had cancer, the one thing that we decided was that we were going to go through this battle together as a family- a team- we would all need each other to get through it.  And of course, we were going to fight (a word used then, that I no longer like to use).  During the course of the week I had all of the fears that you can imagine- the most important and scary was that I would die before I would ever have a chance to see my beautiful son grow up. 

 Throughout the week, I took time to read Elizabeth Edwards' book Resilience that described her own journey through cancer and what her family went through.  Her words struck a cord in my heart and the more that I read, the more strength, determination, and focus I got that I could survive- because surviving was about living.  After many tears and wonderful insights, I got to the final page.  When I turned the last page in huge red letters, Jake had written the word FIGHT - I love you MOM in big letters.  This simple 5 letter message from my dear son, who was probably just as scared of losing me as I was of losing him, is the word that carried me through some dark times when chemotherapy seemed too hard. 

And so today, my heart goes out to the family of Elizabeth Edwards- to her children who watched their mom FIGHT and win.  She won because she lived!  There are so many people who have lost people that they love to the terrible disease of breast cancer as well as many other types of cancer.  It is not the number of years that you have but how you spend each day.  Live each day to the fullest and celebrate the life that you are living!

Triple D's

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to travel to Austin, TX to attend the Living Beyond Cancer Retreat.  Besides meeting amazing people, I was struck by one of the speakers, Dr. Samuelson.  He gave a great talk about being a man with breast cancer, living with a balance of hope and acceptance, but the most important thing he said has resonated with me all week.

"Pack your bags and move out of the Village of Someday"

Read it again- the message is clear.  And what I realized is that I am so far out of the Village of Someday!  I realized how hard it was for me to accept that I needed to move forward and just make Little Pink Houses of Hope happen.  I had a million excuses to keep me from diving into the unknown and not accepting the direction laid out for me.  Forget the fact that I did not have a business background, or that I knew nothing about property donation, IRS non-profit filings, accounting, marketing, etc.  What I had was HOPE that I would be given everything that I needed to make it happen.  The right people, the right knowledge, and the right direction.  I remember living a life in the Village of Someday.  My life is so much more amazing than I ever imagined now that I have left the village. 

But it is not easy to leave.  Rest assured, I know the comfort and convenience of the village.  And then at church today (we are members at St. Mark's in Mebane), the preacher had a similar message that hit home and one of the reasons that I started Little Pink Houses of Hope.

"Direction Determines Destination"

And it hit me again- that is what I have tried to do- point my God given talents and energies into a direction that is about helping breast cancer survivors and families.  The destination seems like Little Pink Houses of Hope, but really it is about the one on one connections that will happen as a result of LPHOH.  The destination for me is about creating a positive journey for others.   Bob then asked three important questions to ponder when dealing with the decisions in your life and the direction where you want to go?
1.  What is the WISE thing to do?

2.  Why are you thinking about doing it?

3.  If a loved one asked you for advice for the same decision, what advice would you give?

So I guess the big question today is- Where are you?  Have you thought about how your direction will determine your destination?  If you are in the Village of Someday, maybe it is time to pack your bags!

From the heart.

If you only knew how exciting it is for me to pick up the phone and have the person on the other end share their story of what has motivated them to help Little Pink Houses of Hope.  I am always humbled and touched by the Little Pink supporters. 

This week, I recieved a call from a friend that I had not heard from in years.  She is a 2nd grade teacher who had mentioned the focus and mission of Little Pink Houses of Hope to  her students.  Like most teachers she went on with her day, hoping that maybe the lesson about helping others got through to her students.  Time went by and to her suprise, she was contacted by the student council faculty rep to inform her that Little Pink Houses would be the new charity beneficiary for all of the spirit days that the school conducts.  But how did it happen?  Enter the heroine of the story.  A young 7 year old student who was moved by our mission went to the student council and presented her idea to change the charity to support LPHOH.  Can you imagine this little 7 year old walking in with her plan?  Amazing.  My heart is touched by a young girl who decided that all she had to do was act to start making a difference in the world.  A big heartfelt thank you to the newest group of supporters from Claxton Elementary in Greensboro, NC! 

Momma always said....

If you have ever had the chance to meet my mom, you know that she was dropped into a family of very competitive athletic kids who loved to win.  She could have cared less about whether we won or not.  She was the person routing on the sidelines who never really understood the rules, yelled "good goal" when it was really a basket, and ALWAYS told us that it was how we played the game that was more important than winning.  She would usually pirouette out of the kitchen after such a statement.  She is a joyful woman indeed!

Well, the PEPSI refresh project is over and I am so happy with HOW we played the game.  I am able to track various aspects of the contest and we have had people from all over the country and the world voting for us.  We have had thousands of people on any given day casting a vote of support for the dream of Little Pink Houses of Hope!  People telling their friends and complete strangers getting involved in the organization.  Although we did not finish in the top 10, we came very close on numerous occassions (as high as 17th one day).  We have had donations coming in from places as far away as Texas! (Thanks to the great group of Bunco ladies for donating their card proceeds).  We have had beach houses donated, fundraisers locally, and most importantly, we have made my mom proud.  Because in the end, the PEPSI project was not about the $50,000 prize, it was about creating a culture where everyone can be a part of something.  It was about spreading the word about the mission and values of LPHOH.  It was about getting to know each other.  It was about starting the foundation for an amazing organization that has grown by leaps and bounds.  It is about celebrating life!  And it was about a lot of voting.  Thanks to everyone who voted religiously over the course of the past 8 weeks.  Your dedication to the cause will never be forgotten.   When you see me, know that I will buy you a PEPSI (or a Coke for the matter). 

And with that, I am going to pirouette out of the kitchen.

A Helping Hand

The Beatles said it best, "You get by with a little help from your friends".  (If you are too young to know who the Beatles are, I forgive you- just make sure that you visit me in the nursing home one day).  Not only have my friends been amazing through my cancer journey, but friends- new and old, are making every day working on Little Pink Houses of Hope more enjoyable.

I want to highlight two people in this blog-not because they are the only two, and not because of what they are doing, but because they represent the journey of Little Pink Houses of Hope.

I have a beautiful, talented, compassionate, and dear friend, Melissa who from the very beginning has been by my side with Little Pink Houses of Hope.  She has taken on amazing responsibilities as my partner, board member, and go-to girl.  Why highlight her?  (besides any brownie points that I may score)...Well, she is a great example of how the spirit, mission, and values of my dream of Little Pink Houses of Hope can move people to action and commitment.  Over the next few months, Little Pink Houses will need more people to heed that call and take action.    Little Pink Houses is lucky to have her as an integral person who is helping to make my dream a reality. 

So, as you know, LPHOH started as an idea and a facebook group.  We have grown exponentially and have followers as far away as Australia, India, and Nigeria!  We have recently realized the need to fully utilize the social media marketing platforms that are out there.  I put together a description for a volunteer and sent it to the Elon Service Center.  And voila!  Liz!  A young, energetic 19 year old who is studying digital media and has a wealth of information that she is willing to share as a volunteer.  Why highlight her?  She is a great example of a person who realized her niche- her passion for online marketing and communication and reached out to help complete strangers.  I am truly enjoying getting to know her and am positive that she will be a wonderful assett to our team.  But the important thing is- she was a stranger a couple of weeks ago and now she is part of the LPHOH team- all because she was in tune with her gifts. 

As always, we need your help.  We are currently looking for people who are interested in volunteering and becoming part of our team.  Here are just a few examples of skills and people that we are looking for:

1. Assistant Volunteer Coordinator- we need someone to help us take the goodness of the people that want to volunteer and channel that energy into specific tasks.  If you are organized and like meeting and talking to new people- this is right up your alley.
2. Pink Games Organizer- we need people who like organizing events, sports, and helping to create a buzz!  This person would be responsible for helping to design and implement Pink Game fundraisers for college and high school sports (basketball for the winter season).  If you are a go-getter that wants to help bring our cause to organized school groups, I have a Pink t-shirt with your name on it!
3. Development- we are looking for a few people to take on creating some imaginative fundraising ideas.  All different types of skills are needed for this task- so there is a place for lots of different personalities. If you can dream big, come on!
4. Application Administrator- we are getting ready in December to start taking applications for retreat attendees and then soon after, volunteers.  If you are a person who understands the administrative side of a big project like this, you are just who we are looking for!
5. Retreat Week Assistant- for every week that we conduct a retreat, there are 8 houses, 10 volunteers, 21 meals, rentals that need to be made, property securing that has to happen- you name it and we have to do it.  If you are interested in being the point person for one of the 7 weeks, we would love to talk to you!  Be a part of the planning!

And then of course, 25 other things as well.  The bottom line is this- if you have a desire to help, I am asking for your help and can use your talents!  Don't delay, lend a helping had today!

An AMAZING month!

Have you ever seen the movie "The Fast and the Furious"?  Laced with action, speed, drama, intrigue, and something new around every corner, the title of that movie sums up the month of September for Little Pink Houses of Hope.  Are you ready?  Take a deep breath and get ready for a thrill ride of action and drama over the past thirty days:

•  Voting began on September 1st!  If you voted, you know how exciting it was everyday to see how we were doing in the standings and to see us do so well during our first month.  We were like David fighting the Goliath projects who have been doing this for months.
• Our facebook group grew from 348 people on September 1 to 728 people on September 30th! 
• We found ourselves on the big screen at St. Mark's, WFMY News 2, ABC 11, and Fox8!
• We had great opportunities for people to read about LPHOH in The Coastal Journal, Womenhealth.gov and be heard on the radio on G105!
• These media segments allowed for the message, mission, and service of Little Pink Houses of Hope to reach thousands of people.
• We have had 4 individuals interested in donating their beach houses after seeing the interview segments!
• I had a teacher who won a Educator of the Year award donate his check to Little Pink Houses, showing the joy of Paying It Forward.
• My alma mater, Saint Louis University, heard about LPHOH and is doing a Pink Field Hockey game on Oct 15th versus the Richmond Spiders.  They are donating their proceeds to LPHOH.  Go Billikens!!!
• In finding businesses to help advertise for the Pepsi Project, we have created wonderful connections that will last a long time. 
• We were honored to receive memorium donations on behalf of two special individuals who passed away.
• We were contacted by numerous survivors about attending a retreat or to share their story.  The stories and hope keep me more focused than ever on LPHOH.
• We are working with Elon and NCstate volunteers
• The president of  a fabric company offered to donate the fabric when we secure permanent housing one day.
• Many high school and middle school students are participating to actively change the world
• We have Paypal available on the website now to take online donation
• Finishing 58th qualifies us to roll over for voting for next month.  Keep up the voting and spread the word.
• I have had a chance to meet wonderful people at survivor meetings
• Certain local businesses have decided to do fundraising events during October to help raise funds for LPHOH.  The first one will be held on Saturday, October 9th at West End Studio in Burlington 7-9 pm!

Whew!  I warned you to take a deep breath.  The Pepsi Project has given us the opportunity to continue to create a culture where people can actively participant to help make a difference.  It has been easy to ask people for something simple, like their vote, and look at all of the amazing things that have happened.  I feel so lucky to have the support of our group and to know that you are each working on behalf of LPHOH.  I can only imagine what October will bring.

PS.  Did I mention that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month?  Make sure to do a self breast exam!

Who would have thought....

Who would have thought that I would end up in this place?  Not me.  I was hit today by thoughts of my birthday party one year ago this weekend.  I was so happy to be turning 40- and I really do mean that.  Happy that I had made it.   And now I look back and reflect on everything that has transpired over the past year and how is it that I have done more during this past year with cancer than I did in any of my other years?  Or is it just that I am doing my life a different way- with purpose and treasuring all of the steps along the way...

The celebration of my birthday this year was a strange day.  I learned at 6:30 AM that they were testing my father in Florida for kidney cancer.    Luckily, by the end of the day we found out that he did not have cancer.  I had a really difficult time processing this information. It wasn't that I was worried about his mortality, but that he had to deal with those internal moments of not knowing and letting your mind wander to some crazy places.  It wasn't that I did not understand how to navigate the cancer universe to get the best care, rather that it would be out of my control.  It became crystal clear to me that it cannot be easy being on the other side of the coin when you deal with a loved one with cancer.  I literally said aloud to my husband, Terry, "How do people get through loving someone with cancer?"  Anyone who knows Terry can probably imagine the look on his face that screamed "duh!?!"  Of course he knows- that has been his life and the life of many people in my life over the past year.  Wow!  I realized this week what it must be like and how much I appreciate all of you that have stayed in my life during such a hard time. Let me just try to express my thanks to each of you through a poem I wrote. 

I never knew

How hard it was when you were blue

I never guessed

that you were trying your best

not to let the hurt show

as you watched during the high and the low

I never saw

your quiet moments of anguish and awe

I didn't feel

the worry with which you had to deal.

you cared for me

and knew when to let me be

I will always try

to cherish you for the days that went by

I will love you more

because you touched me at the core

by your caring ways

during my darkest days

I will be there for you

For all of your days you wander through

I will try to feel your pain

to ease the burden of the rain

for in my heart I know that your heart is always near

because you have been a friend to me- that is clear

It became abundantly clear how important the work of Little Pink Houses of Hope is because we will be addressing what the whole family is going through.  We will be helping each person who struggles with dealing with this on a daily basis by reconnecting families and trying to remove some of the daily burdens, financial struggles, and create an environment where they can celebrate being together.  Thank you for your support of Little Pink and of me.  Love ya!

Little Pink Fever!

So if you do not already have it, Little Pink Fever is running rampant!  Check out how people are spreading the excitement about Little Pink Houses:

Eastern Eagles defeated Cummings and both groups of supporters helped in the "Show Me Your Text" campaign at the stadium.  I was totally inspired by all of the high school students that were texting.  When they were approached, it amazed me how quickly almost all of them connected by saying something about a family member who had cancer.  Our youth is growing up in a world where cancer is turning into their normal.  There is a sadness in that statement, but a hope in the way in which they rally behind wanting to do good in the world.  We had over 350 text votes in a matter of an hour and a half!  Great job fans!  If you are interested in hosting a "Show Me Your Text" campaign at your school football game or event, it is easy.  All we needed was a sign with the text code, a roll of raffle tickets, and a fishbowl.  Someone had donated a Wal-Mart gift card for the raffle.  Free text, free ticket, and a chance to win something.  Who would say no to that?  Give it a try!

The Brown family went to the beach and took Little Pink Houses on the road with a Free Pink Lemonade stand to try to get votes! 

I probably do not even need to write anything else...just look at these wonderful ambassadors for LPHOH.  I know that I would not have been able to say No to either one of those adorable faces. I would imagine a lot of votes came from Garden City, South Carolina. Thanks to the Browns!

The Hurst family decided to use the two most adorable kids to help promote LPHOH.  I have long called my friend Melissa one of the best wordsmiths that I know.  She chooses her words carefully and writes a fabulous blog about being a new mom that is worth checking out and following:  http://mamemusings.blogspot.com/2010/09/little-pink-babies.html  Her kind words about my journey over the past year were very touching.  Again, how could anyone say no tho these adorable faces!  More adorable LPHOH pictures of these two are on her blog.   Check it out!

And Live, from New York, it's Josh Patten!  My youngest brother declared this month "National Write about Your Sister Month".  If you have never met Josh, he is an improv performer and coach in New York City and is incredibly funny and talented.  He took his talent with the pen to lend his support for Little Pink Houses of Hope this month. He is posting his writings on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr for all of his adoring fans.  Get ready to laugh when you read his writings at our family's expense! You can find his daily writings at http://www.joshpatten.tumblr.com/  Great job Josh!

To everyone who is being creative with getting the vote or doing it the old-fashioned way- THANK YOU!  Send me an email of what you are doing- I would love to feature it on our blog or site. 

The many blessings...

Voting started yesterday and what a crazy, fun, exhausting week!  There are so many people who have decided to be a part of Little Pink Houses of Hope and I feel incredibly lucky and blessed.  I have been touched this week by the many people that I do not know who have written to me about their experiences, struggles with cancer, and creative energy.  So many people have told me that they are proud of me or inspired by what we are doing.  But really, it is not just me.  It is all of us.  If you read the email from the woman who is dealing with her 4th recurrence of breast cancer, you would be inspired by her courage.  If you heard of the 10 year old boy who is conducting a meeting with his Boy Scout troop to promote LPHOH you would see what the heart of activism looks like.  If you had heard the news anchor talking to me about the other people that they interviewed you would realize the enormity of cancer on the lives of so many people.  If you had read all of the facebook posts from people who have never really been involved in something before, but are finding a voice in their community to help through LPHOH, you would know that good exists in the world.  If you had opened up the email from my brother, who has decided to make it "National Write about your Sister" month, you would understand how easy the past year has been for me because I have been given a family that has rallied behind me.  If you heard the conversation with my preacher about the God that is working vigorously through LPHOH, you would be hard pressed not to have hope.  The truth is, I have been blessed and inspired by all of you.